Ines had the misfortune to turn seventeen in an airport with 15 suitcases, 5 brothers and sisters, and two exhausted and confused parents. This year as we celebrated her 18th, we thought back on the hundreds of first images and impressions that seemed so dramatic and took us so much by surprise. And though we are far from settled and cannot considered ourselves "installed" in the french way of life, we are starting to live like a family that belongs in two lands.
There are many things that can be said about moving to a foreign land and living in a new and different culture. If there is one thing that stands out to us (Marc and I), as almost miraculous, it is watching the evolution of our two younger children become bilingual. Louis was seven and Claudie was three when we arrived. Neither of them spoke french-nothing more than a few vocabulary words. They could not make a sentence. They did not know how to say, "My name is Louis", or "I do not speak french", or "I am American". They both started school a few days after we arrived. Louis had never been in school before, as we had homeschooled most of our children for most of their education.
From day one, Louis went to school from 9am to 4:30pm four days a week. ( In france, there is no school on wednesday, for the elementary children) Claudie went only occasionally, as I felt she was still young, and she is not a morning person. Most of the time she was not ready and Louis was screaming from the gate that he was going to be late. (He is not like his mother...I love to be late!) Claudie missed alot of school. And when she went, she did not say a word. Being stubborn and steadfast in her ways, she even refused all snacks, cakes and treats, as she would not give the required "Merci", after receiving her goodie.
So she had no marks on her progress report all year, because she did not seem to be making progress. Then one day I was sitting on the couch reading and she was playing and talking to herself in the corner. It caught my attention because she was scolding her doll. So I moved a little closer and kept on reading. Sure enough...she was playing school and scolding her doll in french! "Va au coin, maintenant, et met les choses en place tout de suite"! Out of the mouths of babes.."Go to the corner, right now!" And "Pick up your toys, immediately".
I stopped worrying about her progress. She was definately listening and learning everything her teacher was saying! And I can't say I blame her for not wanting to talk. I might even shut up if Marc made me pick up my toys and sit in the corner!
I don't tell that story with any judgement on the teacher. She is a very nice young lady and a good teacher as well. And in the little village school, she is really teaching two grades in the same class 3 to 7 yrs. old-a big difference in skills. So frustration is a given and order is a neccessity.
This year Claudie has a new teacher. One of the moms warned me about her. She has a very loud voice and yells alot. She didn't think Claudie would do well and wanted me to know in case I wanted to change schools. The first day Claudie cried because she didn't want to have a new teacher. But when I picked her up for lunch, she was fine and has not cried since. Actually, she has been speaking french everyday for the last two weeks. So Marc and I asked her about the teacher, kind of expecting some dramatic reponse. "Do you like your teacher, Coco? Is she nice?" "I don't know", she tells us. "Well does she have a loud voice? " "I don't know". "Does she yell in class?" "Oh yeah, she yells alot!" Well doesn't that bother you?" "No". she laughs. "She's nice". Then it dawns on me. Well of course it doesn't bother her. She lives with me, Louis, and three teenage sisters. She feels right at home with all the yelling and now she feels comfortable- not like with strangers- so she doesn't mind speaking french. I think it says a lot about frustration. If you try to hide it, it just makes people uncomfortable. Let it out! Yell if you need to, then give a big hug and keep on teaching!
Just a funny story, I don't really condone yelling. It is actually one of my faults that I pray often to be freed from. I know yelling is so abrupt and can be hurtful. Once I even told God to just take my voice away so I would never yell again. Luckily he was not listening to me.
So the children are becoming bilingual but I must admit, it is much easier to make the transition before 12 or 13 years old. Santi was 11 when we arrived. She cried the first day after school and said she was never going back again. By the third week she was in the swing of things as well. Like Louis, she had never been in a traditional school setting. She had some lazy habits and was behind in math and spelling. But she finished the year with high marks, a good foundation of the language, and excellent study habits. She is well on her way to being fluent and is now very inerested in language. She is thinking about learning spanish and chinese! Probably two good choices. The older girls, 16yrs. and 18yrs. old have struggled. Let me just say that teenagers are special. I don't think I have much advice and remain open to any and all suggestions. I think I will save the "teenage" story for another post. It deserves special treatment! Abientot, Monica
Snapshot of the children visiting the village Le Barroux in the Dentelles mountains.
Lots of stones...walls, steps, streets, houses, castles!
